Actually, It Does Matter

As many apartment dwellers, I own a shopping cart that I use to lug my purchases from my car to my home. Every Friday morning as I leave for work, I take the cart with me in case I decide to do to my groceries on my way home. I leave it in my parking spot and off I go.

It is old and bent and might be worth a whole five dollars. While the thought has crossed my mind that maybe someone could steal it, I decided to trust in humankind. Maybe someone would borrow it to get them out of a jam and return it as soon as they were done, but no one would take it, would they? Even if they did, it was pretty worthless and a replacement might be a good idea so it wouldn’t really matter, would it?

Last night when I got home, the cart was gone. I was a little sad. I would have been angry had I gone shopping but I had opted to go to a baseball game instead of a grocery store. So there was nothing my little metal pack mule needed to transport. Most stores had been closed for a couple of hours already so the borrowed theory seemed unlikely. By the time I got upstairs, I felt like a loser. I had trusted my fellow residents and they had let me down. While the cart didn’t gain any monetary value in my eyes, I still felt violated. Someone had taken what was mine. Had I misjudged the world? Was I destined to be taken advantage of? Maybe I was asking for it, but I wouldn’t have touched another’s belongings so why would someone take what was mine?

This morning I decided to scan the garage for the cart just in case it might have been relocated. On the opposite side of the garage, it stood waiting for me to claim it back. I smiled at it like it was a beloved friend that I hadn’t seen in ages. I refrained from hugging it, folded it and tucked it in behind the front seats. It turned out that it mattered more to me than I had ever thought. Somehow, its disappearance affected my faith in people.

What do you think? Did I overreact? Do you have a similar story to share? How did you feel when someone took something from you?

Take A Break

Press play, take your hands away from the mouse and keyboard, and let this girl make you smile.

Now go over to your mirror and try that!

I can’t even get one eyebrow up. How about you? Do you have any quirky facial talents?

Transformation Tuesday: Kids Help Phone

Welcome back to Transformation Tuesdays!

This little column is usually about my transformation but not today. Well, sort of not.

Last year around this time, I got a small unexpected windfall of cash. It only seemed right to donate part of it to charity. Pay it forward, right? I was searching for the right organization when one of my co-workers came along with a pledge form and asked me to support his daughter who was raising funds for Kids Help Phone. Call that coincidence, but I’d rather call it order in the universe.

Kids Help Phone is a free, anonymous and confidential professional counselling service available to all kids across Canada through the internet or by phone. The girl in question had benefited from Kids Help Phone and was doing her part by collecting donations and participating in their annual walk.

This year, it’s my turn to participate in the Walk So Kids Can Talk campaign. I’ve decided to make the 5 km walk talking place on May 6 across Canada. But I can’t show up there empty-handed, so I’m asking you to pledge me and support kids across the country who have no one to turn to as they deal with violence, abuse, difficult friendships, relationships and family dynamics, sexual orientation, bullying, and so much more. Some people want to relive their childhoods, I’m not one of those people. Are you? As an adult, you can see where things would have been different either in your life or in a loved one’s if someone had cared or if someone had guided that child differently. So, be that someone today, pledge me or donate directly to Kids Help Phone.

The Octopus Knows – Round Robin #4

Fellow writer, branding classmate, and tech queen Laird Sapir struck on a fun idea a few weeks ago and started a round robin where a group of writers will each write one part of The Octopus Knows and publish it on their blog. Last week, the smart Jennifer Oliver left us wondering what Simon would discover in Marguerite’s purse. Let’s find out!

 * * *

Placing his hand on the seat beside him, he leaned his weight on that arm. He glanced around the room, trying to give off the air of boredom when really his heart was about to pound right out of his chest. Satisfied that no one was paying any attention to him, he reached over to snag Marguerite’s purse from its resting place and felt the teeth of the zipper on pants give way.

Sensing cool air on his upper buttocks, he threw himself onto the backrest hoping his jacket would cover him. He looked around the restaurant and discovered Braden’s eyes locked on his crotch. Simon looked down and noticed the ungroomed patch sprouting from the top of his zipper. Too stunned to utter the expletives that ran through his mind, he sucked in his belly, buttoned and zippered his pants.

Braden appeared at the table. “Your coke, sir!”

Simon gazed up at the man. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“So. Am. I.”

Chastised, Simon cast his eyes down and waited as the longest moment of his life passed. Finally, Braden abandoned him. Simon scanned the restaurant quickly. Braden had disappeared, Marguerite was still in the washroom, and no one seemed to be watching him.

He grabbed the open purse and peered inside. He noted Marguerite’s designer wallet, her stun gun – he tensed at a painful memory, her fashionable sunglasses, and his wand.

Oh, what a joy to see his magic wand again! “Old friend,” he whispered to it as he gently extracted it from the purse. “A year without you is like life without water.” Tears spilled from his eyes as he sobbed over the return of his wand.

Braden reappeared at the table. “Another problem, sir?”

Simon carefully put the wand away in the inside pocket of his jacket, then wiped away his tears with a linen napkin and blew his nose. Despite the tightness of his leather suit, he managed a graceful rise from his chair, placed the dirty napkin in Braden’s hand and said “Not anymore.”

Leaving Braden, Marguerite and LaBoulangerie behind, he signaled for a taxi. He gave the driver an address and settled in for the ride. He had some thinking to do. Mr. Jones wanted Ninja back so he sent Marguerite to return his wand. That did not make sense. Mr. Jones could have taken Ninja back. He could have hired kidnappers. And what about Marguerite and the wand? Marguerite frightened and hurt. She negotiated like a bully. She took, she did not trade. So why send her to exchange the wand for the octopus? Or had she acted on her own? She had been quite secretive. So many questions to answer. Of course, he might have gotten some answers had he waited for her to return to the table but she scared him so much that thinking would have been out of the question. He’d been right to escape while he could despite his less-than gentlemanly exit.

* * *

I hope you liked that. To next round will be posted by Sara Walpert Foster. Enjoy!

Teenager: A Guest Post by Shay Fabbro

I’m so pleased to have author Shay Fabbro stop by on her blog tour to chat about adolescence, 80′s hair, and her books. I’ve been following her blog for a few months now and love her uniqueness. After you finish reading this post, check out her blog and her books. Don’t forget to leave a comment for a chance to win her books!

A Guest Post by Shay Fabbro

Teenager.

There are many things associated with that word: fear, disbelief, incredulity, fear, awkward, hormones, angst, angry, peer-pressure.

These years are tense and awkward for both the teen and their parents. I often hear parents speak of wanting to put off these years for as long as possible. It doesn’t even necessarily mean they have older kids and have gone through the teen years. Parents KNOW what the teen years will be like because they’ve gone through it. And regardless of the decade, being a teen is pretty much the same.

They are trying to figure out who they are while trying to be someone else to please everyone around them. Talk about stressful! But it’s true. Teens tend to latch onto whoever (or whatever) is popular at a given moment and they try like hell to become that or to buy it. Most often the people are the cheerleaders/football players and the things really depend on the decade. I went to high school in the 80’s (AWESOME by the way!) so the cool kids had the pagers and LA Gear or Converse. I admit, I had two pairs of Converse sneakers and felt so awesome! And in the 80’s, popularity was also measured in cans of Aqua Net hair spray!

LOL Not really, but if it were I would have won hands down!

I’m the one on the far right.

There’s no “best” way to get through these years. And contrary to popular belief, no one gets through these years unscathed. Even the kids we think are perfect have dealt with tough times. We just never notice because we are dealing with our own crap.

YA/coming of age books/fantasy often have teens dealing with many of the common issues that all teens deal with, plus maybe throwing in something even more dramatic. In the Adventures of Alexis Davenport series, Alex deals with bullying, first crush (he doesn’t even know she exists), and feeling out of place. She also has to contend with a deadbeat dad who left and her and her mom penniless and living with an aunt in another town.

Oh, and she sees the reflections of strange girls in mirrors.

I know, right??!!?? Talk about stressful! Not only that, she travels back in time and inhabits the bodies of these girls. She finds out that she must protect the time line from an evil bastard trying to change the past.

Poor kid! But Alex is tough and she’s smart! Had a knack for history that will give her the edge she needs to beat the bad guy. And what she learns along the way will help her cope with issues in her regular teen life.

How did you/are you dealing with tough teen issues? A random commenter will win BOTH Dangerous Reflections and Twisted Reflections!

Connect with Shay!

Website

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Vicious Cycle

Finally. It’s over. I think, sighing. Since Thursday, I’d been waiting for the moment and here it is.  I add the orange cap and the empty carton of orange juice to the recyclables. I’m happy, another item in my fridge gone. More space and no waste. I smile a little. I imagine that if anyone saw it, they would think it’s a Mona Lisa smile. A barely there kind of smile, that’s more about the glint in one’s eyes than about the formation the lips take.

I locate my vitamins and notice the speed of my heartbeat. As my chest constricts slightly, my desire for breakfast evaporates although my stomach grumbles. Where’s my Blackberry? I look over my right shoulder. It’s usually on the pass-thru between the kitchen and dinning room but not this morning. As I conduct a wild-eyed search for the phone in the living room, my daughter asks for her cereal but I ignore the little high-pitched voice and proceed down the hall. I just need a few seconds. I’ll get her breakfast after that.

I find the phone on my bureau. I exhale through my nose. I click on the Memo pad, scroll down to the memo entitled “Shopping,” under “Groceries” I add “OJ.” My chest loosens, my breaths deepen, my heart slows down. Crisis averted. I will not forget to replenish the OJ supply in my fridge, I will fill the space on the shelf with a new carton, and I will not relieve this moment for about two weeks – the time it takes me to finish a carton. Although I’m bound to run out of something else before that. Sigh.

How do you react when you run out of a staple in your home? What makes you happiest – finishing a product, recycling a product, or the opportunity to replace it? By the way, the Toronto Blue Jays won their first two games of the season.

Yammy Music

There are hams and there are yams. My favorite yam is Mamma Yamma. She’s a hammy yam. And she’s cool too. She has some of Canada’s best musicians on her show. Since Mamma Yamma is part of the CBC Kids lineup, artists tend to re-write the lyrics of their singles to suit the young audience.

Joel Plaskett’s Fashionable People is one of my favorites.

Do you have a favorite kids’ tv show host? What did you think of this version of Fashionable People?  Do you have any good yam recipes?

Silence

I was told to shut up twice last week. The first time went something like “Please stop talking to me.” It took me three days to grant that request and only after someone else said “Patricia, I’m trying to help you so I want you to be quiet and listen to me just like you listen to BabyGirl.” I looked over at my daughter, exhaled, stopped thinking and listened for the first time in a long time.

Thoughts whirl through my mind in no specific order. Round and round they go. Some circulate for a day, some for months, others for years. At their loudest, neck pain and headaches ensue. At their quietest, it’s a good day. I can live with that. What bothers me is when the thoughts spill out of my mouth. That’s what I’ve been doing for months.

I keep talking, and talking, and talking, saying nothing but talking all the time to the point where my jaw hurts, my brain hurts, my soul hurts, and my relationships hurt. I keep telling myself to shut up but I can’t do it, can’t control of myself. A little quiet can go such a long way but I can’t hold on to it for more than a few seconds. I was nearing the breaking point and turning ugly when I was told to listen to others like I do with BabyGirl.

Overall, the week has gone well. I look at the speaker and focus on their words. If I struggle, I pretend the person is BabyGirl. If my mouth starts working itself toward interrupting, I clench my jaw and refocus. Since I’m far from perfect, there have been a few slip ups but practice makes perfect. Listening to others without adding to their words is stressless – which is great, and there’s another, more important benefit. I’m rediscovering people right now, appreciating their thoughts, and getting closer to them.  There might be hope for me yet.

How do your thoughts take over your mouth? How are your listening skills? Is there someone in your life who needs to shut up?

Transformation Tuesday: Intro to Kayaking

Welcome back to another Transformation Tuesday!

I have recently completely my sailor’s initiation.

Rosemary Ratcliff

Ok, not really sailor, more like paddler. Two summers ago, I went camping in Algonquin Provincial Park with my, then, two and a half-year old daughter. While she splashed around in the lake, I sat on the beach keeping an eye on her and another on the kayakers and canoers. A twinge of envy nipped at me as I observed the paddlers enjoying a warm summer’s day on the lake.

On the beach, I caught snippets of a conversation between two mothers making evening plans as they parted. One of the two pulled a kayak from the beach and into the water, plunked her two small children inside, and paddled away, easily maneuvering the craft. My brain exploded! It looked like a kayak, but the cockpit was wide enough for her and the kids. What was this thing? It turned out to be a recreational kayak. I never knew, never imagined such a thing existed, but it meant that BabyGirl and I could enjoy the lake in a whole different way. I made up my mind to learn more.

Gregory Szarkiewicz

I sat on the idea for a while, unsure of how to get the necessary training. Patience rewarded me when I went hiking at Kelso Conversation Area at the end of last summer. I spotted a trailer full of kayaks being towed by a vehicle covered in butterflies and learntokayak.ca decals.

Learntokayak.ca. Easy enough to remember. I checked out their website a few days later but the season for learning was ending so I waited out the fall and winter, periodically checking the website for the first opportunity to sign up for a class.

Finally, the morning of my class came, my excitement dimmed, and I found myself anxious. As I drove to the pool in Burlington, I convinced myself that I would find a class filled with athletic, fearless, extreme sports loving, 20 year olds who planned on doing some whitewater kayaking or something just as reckless challenging while I would be the mom in the practical Wal-Mart bathing suit fumbling through the lessons.

Fear has such a way of taking over my mind! I was one of two of the youngest people in the group. The other “young” person was Mark, a thirty-something dad who was also there because he wanted to take his young children kayaking in a safe and knowledgeable manner.  No one planned on doing anything too extreme: fishing, photography, tripping.

The only death-defying stunt involved forcing ourselves to flip our kayaks while we were inside and releasing ourselves while holding on to our kayak and paddle. The first time was the hardest as my sense of self-preservation kicked in and I wondered if I would remain trapped inside. I ran through the instructions in my mind, took a couple of it’s-me-against-the-world breaths, and flipped that sucker over.

Courtesy of Jan Carol Phillips

I struggled with the paddling bit. There wasn’t a wall in that pool that I didn’t hit. There wasn’t another kayak in that pool that I didn’t hit. There were a few people bobbing in the water that I hit. I was dangerous until Craig, one of our instructors, observed how well Mark was doing because he was taking things slowly. Ding! Ah, yes. I have a way of rushing through things when I feel I need to prove myself. This was Sunday morning after all, I should be taking it easy.

Please forgive the following baseball analogy but I can’t help myself. Ever watch a pitcher pitch? The ball may travel at 80 or 90 miles an hour but the pitcher takes his time setting himself up for that pitch. He takes his cue from the catcher, fondles his ball warms the ball, takes his stance, channels his power into the ball and releases it. His focus is entirely on the pitch. He looks like he’s meditating. Once I slowed down and focused on the movements, the strokes came easily, the kayak moved faster than I expected but I was still in control of it. Unexpectedly, I was transported: the pale blue water of the pool turned dark brown-green, the salty pungent scent of algae replaced the chlorine smell, birds sang, the heat of the sun warmed me, and a breeze caressed my skin. I am so looking forward to making that daydream a reality! But first, Level 1 Skills course in open water. Gotta go sign up for that now. Blog you later.

What’s your favorite water sport? Any water adventures you’d care to share? What’s your latest transformation challenge?

The Boys of Summer Are Back!

This post is a follow-up to Fever Pitch where I admitted to being on my way to becoming a baseball fan-addict.

I was overjoyed to hear Alan Ashby and Jerry Howarth on the Fan590 again a few weekends ago broadcasting a Blue Jays spring training game. It made me smile. Their voices brought on inner peace. Yes, inner peace. Seriously, that’s what an addict finds when the addiction is satisfied, isn’t it? No more watching baseball movies to get my fix. No more wishing, longing, yearning, daydreaming. Winter is over and spring training well underway.

Furthermore, there’s a whole season, 162 games People, to look forward to. I must be insane but I’m ecstatic! I’m checking out the schedule, carefully picking the games I want to attend. The choices are mind-boggling: Bobblehead giveaways, Fan Appreciation Days, Summer Friday Fan Festival games, the list goes on. So far, I’ve only chosen one. That’s okay. It’s not a fast game, so I don’t need to act fast. It’s all about slowing down and appreciating human skill.

Anyone think I’m nuts yet? Are you following your team’s spring training? Any suggestions from Blue Jays fans about which games to attend?